Happy New Year

Happy 2008! I hope that everyone had a happy and safe New Year’s eve. I had a party, where I believe everyone had a good time. Definitely interesting if nothing else. I drank alot, but that is why I have the party, so I don’t have to hit the road on amateur night.

I did something really stupid. I called a man that I shouldn’t be calling. I called him again and again starting at about 3:00am. I don’t know why I called, but I did. I left a message for him wishing him a Happy New Year. Stupid. Then I called him again and left a somewhat rambling message, I honestly don’t remember what I said. This morning when I woke up I left him another message to tell him to disregard the other messages and to please not call, I didn’t need to talk to him. He called tonight and I answered the call. He was very distant and somewhat cold. I guess he needs to be that way. I wasn’t any warmer. He said it sounded like I needed to talk, so that is why he called. I told him no, I was drunk when I called – that I didn’t need to speak with him. I told him that I thought we would talk again, later in the year. He immediately told me no, he thought that us not talking was the best thing right now. He is right and I told him whatever and hung up. I don’t know what I was expecting. I am the one that stopped all communication. We are not good for one another, and I understand that.

But damnit, I don’t want to date. I want to meet Mr. Right, not Mr. Right Now and that is who seems to be out on the dating sites. All they want is a piece of ass. This year is going to be a great year. I am going to make it so. I still miss him and that makes me crazy.

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