I live on about an acre.  Corner lot.  Too much yard.  Especially when you have to cut it with a push mower.  Ok, it is a self propelled mower, but still a bitch.  I cut about every 2 weeks.  I live in the south, so lack of rain means little to no grass growth which makes an easier cut for me.  

So, last night I went out to cut the grass.  It was all going well, the temp was not horrific and there was a breeze that threatened showers.  I secretly hoped it would rain, but it never really did, so on I plowed.  At about 8:30p I hit my stride, and even though my iPod had died, I was plugging on through.  I figured I would be done in another 30 minutes and then would be free for the weekend activities with no grass looming. 

Suddenly, I felt pain in my knee.  I looked down and saw that I had been bitten, or stung by something.  As I was leaning down to check out the area on my knee, I felt several more shots of pain on my other leg and my back.  At that point, I freaked out.  I ran to the house screaming “Ahhhhhhh, something’s stinging me.  Help, help!”  My teenager didn’t even flinch and continued his Xbox game.  I continued to run around the kitchen in my grass cutting boots:

A tank top and some long shorts.  I was a sight to behold.  The whole time “Ahhhhhhhh.  Something’s stinging me!!!  Ahhhhhhh!”  The dogs were all for the excitement and joined me in my run through the house.  All I wanted to do was strip, but since my son was in the other room, I didn’t want to scar him by stripping and taking the chance that he may actually show an interest in my distress and come to my aid.  So I ran upstairs to my room.  Stripped the tank off in the hall way and as soom as I hit my room I discarded the boots and then saw the culprit(s):

I use the plural because I actually brought 2 in the house with me.  I think I killed one of them twice.  I don’t know, it was just all traumatic.  Ha!  My son wouldn’t even go and kill the fecking bugs.  He closed my bedroom door when I went in for the battle, just so whatever it was that had bitten me wouldn’t go into the rest of the house.  Can you feel the love?

Well dear reader, all went well.  Thank the gods for Febreze and papertowel tubes.  Also, discarded shoes came in handy during the execution.  That was just for one of the buggers.  The other one met the flyswatter.  Once I had my hands on the swatter, it was ON!

Now I can’t finish cutting the grass till I kill the rest of the jackets.  Maybe I could propose a peace treaty?  Have a great weekend all!



  1. noble pig Said:

    Yikes! That sounds like a horrible experience. Wear steel armor next time!

  2. naomi Said:

    that sucks! the nest is probably in the ground too. bran had a similar experience in one rental place we lived. we tried drowning them, but that didn’t work so we had to get out the wasp bomb. it appeared to do the trick. getting rid of an underground nest is a pain in the tush and might involve a call to the pest removal people.

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