Weak

that is what I am.  I thought I was strong and that I would hold my ground, keep my wall up.  Not so much. 

I am involved with someone.  I try to break away and I set rules for myself and that other person.  I broke my rule and went out with them on Saturday.  We had not been out socially in a really, really long time.  We had a really, really great time.  Damnit. 

There are some personal issues that need to be taken care of on their end and I just removed myself from the equation in order to make it easier for them to do what needs to be done.  It never got done.  It is never going to happen and as much as I hate to state that, I know it is true. 

I read about all these healthy relationships that other people have, which I do not.  I want a healthy relationship.  I long for a healthy relationship.  I had some profiles up on dating sites.  All I ever meet are men who are waayyyyy too young for me and just want sex.  Or, I meet men who are closer to my age, but they just seem to want sex.  I mean, I know that is what men want.  A lot.  But aren’t there any out there that wants to build a nice, healthy relationship?  Where are they?  I get the ones that just want to get their rocks off and nothing more. 

I know that this makes very little sense.  I just needed to post and vent a little.  I love this person and they just don’t get it.  I don’t want to move on, but I know that I need to.  Erghhhhh.

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1 Comment »

  1. noble pig Said:

    That’s a bummer, but keep putting yourself out there. It’s the only way. It will work out.


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